Prostitute Battalions
Prostitute Battalions, currently only used by Dorromas and the Pextumian Empire, are all-female armies consisting of only hundreds of prostitutes, and a commander. Their purpose is to arouse and distract their enemy while regular soldiers attack their flank. Dorroman Squadrons Dorromas was the first nation to use Prostitute Battalions, first hiring one in the year 136. The females in their armies are professionally trained, complete with a unique set of gear. They are equipped with Avus-class Revealing Armor, a dagger to slit soldier's throats and a 5 cubit metal pole taken from Dorroman brothels. The squadrons were the brainchild of the Dorroman King at the time, King Firestar I the Perverted. Pextumian Squadrons The Pextumian Empire, then simply known as Pextum, are the only other nation to use Prostitute Battalions. They are currently under testing, but they will become proper battalions in year 146. The battalions were conceived in the year 143 as an excuse as to why General Scipio, Head General of the Pextumian Army, was in a brothel. Pextumian Prostitute Battalions are currently only to be used to arouse and distract the enemy. The only piece of equipment they will have is a dagger to defend themselves. The Inception of the Pextumian Prostitute Battalion: King Mango II: The hell... General Scipio! The fuck are you doing in this brothel? General Scipio: Ehmm... Uh... Collecting data, y-your Majesty. King Mango II: Uh huh. Collecting data for what, Scipio? Scipio: Uh... For a new military strategy, your majesty. King Mango II: Sure you are, Scipio. Listen, if you want to go to brothels, and jack it, that's fine. Just be somewhat non-secretive about it. Scipio: No, your majesty, I really am doing work here. This is absolutely not a place for pleasure for me, and I absolutely do not go here on a regular basis. This visit is purely for scientific and research purposes only. King Mango II: Ha. Alright then, Scipio. If you're really only here for research, then tell me. How are you going to use strippers in warfare? Scipio: (stays silent and looks around awkwardly for 69 seconds) King Mango II: Well, I'm waiting, Scipio. What is it? Scipio: Ok. So as you know, strippers, uh, catch people's attention very easily. King Mango II: Ye, I know that. How do you think my wife caught my eye the first time? Scipio: Wait, what? King Mango II: Anyway, next point, General. Scipio: Alright then. Anyway, strippers oftentimes cause feelings of arousal. King Mango II: No shit. Scipio: And as we all know, arousal often causes people to be less attentive, more distracted, and generally more stupid. King Mango II: And how does this relate to warfare? '' ''Scipio: Well you see, your majesty, my idea was to raise whole battalions of these strippers. If these strippers battalions were to be placed ahead of our main army in battle, they could arouse the enemy in a way that would render their combat capability nonexistent. This would make them unable to fend off any enemy attack, thus handing us victory. King Mango II: Yep, you're definitely just here for pleasure. That said, however, this could be a viable strategy. Thank you for your idea, General Scipio. We'll run the first tests of this strategy next year. Scipio: Thank you, your majesty, I guess. Now could you please leave? It's weird having you here. King Mango II: Certainly. I don't even know why I'm here, the Moximali set up a much better brothel than this shithole. Goodbye, General Scipio.